one week made it home...

It's been a while since I've posted, but that doesn't matter. Sorry! I've been a little preoccupied with things like... Life. And the other blog. I think part of my experience in Florida was trying to block itself out. So I'll do the best I can to remember, even though it has been over two years since it's all happened.

After that first night at Willy's I knew that I wanted this place to be home. The humidity didn't bother me half as bad as I thought it would, and I loved the sun shine. Did I mention palm trees? Because I love them. And the fact that there was a beach? I don't even remember if I ended up going to the beach before I actually moved there. But I knew I would get there at some point. The second the plane landed, I was home.

After Willy's, we finally got to go back to Jamie's apartment, for the first time, and the party continued. I met more people

and shook more hands and drank more beer. I slept on an air mattress in the living room, next to Eddie. Nothing happened that night... That mistake would come later, after a good amount of drinking.... Who knew that my alcohol tolerance would go up as much as it did while I was there?

The few days I was there didn't make it easy to go home. In fact, I was trying to convince my family to pack up my apartment for me so I wouldn't have to go back, which obviously didn't happen. My dad helped me book a one way plane ticket back to Florida so I could head back to Utah, pack my things, and say goodbye to my friends and family.

Before I left, I applied for a job at Bennigan's, the restaurant they all worked at, and who knew that a job at a restaurant would change my life so much. I'm still in shock.

We of course had to go to Disney while I was there. Because we were literally a mile away from Disney property, we had a lot of friends that worked at the different parks and could get us in for free, which meant a lot of time playing with the Mouse. I got to see a little bit of everything. And they showed me different things behind the scenes and told me different secrets.

All of it was magic to me. The last time I had been to Disney World, I was knee high to a grasshopper. I still believed that I was a princess, and carried around my stuffed puppy named Stacy. The only thing I remember from that trip, was seeing the green flash of light as the sun set over the ocean.

The entire time we walked through the parks, I did the happy dance. I smiled the whole time. I was giddy. I was a kid in a candy store with an eternal sugar rush. This was going to be home, and I was going to be the luckiest girl in the entire world. My best friend was on my arm, and I had the possibility of a new life. A fresh start. A place where no one knew me and where my life wasn't tainted by past relationships, that seemed to keep working themselves back into my life. No one would judge me for who I was, because they didn't know me. I promised myself to not have a relationship and work on knitting a sweater, in a Grey's Anatomy sense.

I honestly felt like all my dreams were about to come true. Totally Disney cliche, but I finally understood what it all meant. I loved Florida.

We watched the Wishes firework show for my first time, and everything seemed to come together. I think I may have even cried. Eddie sang along... Which was honestly annoying, but I guess you kind of have to sing along when you've heard it so many times. My heart was soaring. I kept thinking of all the possibilities that awaited me in Florida. If I wanted to, I could even audition for a role as a Disney Character. My world opened up. Wide.

The entire time we were at Disney, Manda kept saying that she loved going to Disney with new people, because it was it made the magic real for her again. No matter how old the person was, going to Disney made them a kid, and it was okay. It was fine to run around in a park and get excited about seeing people dressed up in costumes. It made it okay to believe in magic. It made it okay to ride around on rides, and to not over analyze every detail. It made reality disappear.... For a while it's okay. And when reality hits it hits hard. Again, we will get to that later.

When they took me to the airport at the end of the week I was sad to go. I didn't want to go back to the hell that I believed Utah was. I didn't want to say goodbye to everyone. I didn't want to see my life in boxes and organize the things that I would take and leave. If I could, I would have taken both worlds. I would have taken the snow and city life that I had in Utah, the real friends that I had, the coffee house I worked at.... I would have moved it all to Florida and combined the best of both things together. But that's obviously not possible.

I left some of my things in Jamie's apartment so that I would have more room to carry things back from Utah with me. I knew I was making the right decision, and if I doubted myself, I reassured myself that I needed to be with my person. I needed to do this. I needed to be in Florida.

I knew that Florida was the place for me. I didn't know why. But I knew that I needed to be there. Fate would later have it's way with me.... I would say goodbye to my past and welcome the future. But what would that entail?