The Hard Goodbye, Part IV

Long story short, I end up working at Bennigan's. It took like, five interviews ( and no, I am not exaggerating ) and a lot of people to say they would love to work with me and being friends would have no affect on our work environment... I soon started training. But before I even started training, my person left to go back to Utah to visit the family, among other things.

And I felt totally alone.

I felt empty.

The driving force for me to go down there was gone. She had gone back to Utah and I knew she was going to hang out with Brown Boot. She was entitled to. I wasn't allowed to have a say in them hanging out or not, and I totally understand that. They had been friends long before I had even been in the picture. Friends trumps relationships. In most cases.

I had a couple weeks down there with her before she went back home, and then she was gone for a week. A whole week. A week of me being alone with all these British boys.

British boys, you say? British? With the accents and the charm and the pretty bodies?

Yes. British boys. Have I not mentioned them yet? I don't think I have...

Technically, My Person and I were living with them.

*GASP*

Two young girls, living with a bunch of British boys?!? You have got to be kidding me! A dream come true!

Minus a couple factors. Minus the fact that I was still head over heels for Brown Boot, talking long-distance-true-love-conquers-all-happily-ever-after sort of head over heels. And minus the fact that My Person was with someone else at the time too... And her driving force for going to do the Disney College Program in the first place, was related to one of the room mates. Her fairy tale, knight in shining whatever, English boyfriend. Who she was not with any longer. Which was why she hardly spent any time there. Because she had moved on and found something better. Or so we thought. And maybe still think. It's up for debate still.

Anyway... My Person and I didn't spend a lot of time there. We maybe slept there a couple nights out of the entire time we stayed there. Before we moved. We'll get to that later.

Another reason for not staying with the British boys?

They were total PIGS.

Ants in the kitchen, never clean up after themselves pigs.

It was... *shudder* gross.

So, while she was gone, I was stuck with the British pigs (pretend that they snort with an accent in a gross gross gross sort of way). Which meant a lot of time spent by the pool. See? I even have picture documentation.


By the time My Person came back, I was training at Bennigan's, with a toasty sunburn.

And Brown Boot had stopped talking to me.

I remember that night very clearly, even though a majority of my time in Florida was a drunk blur. The day he stopped talking to me is burned into my memory.

I had a freak out moment. She was gone, I felt alone, and I was terrified that I had made a mistake. What if I left Utah at the wrong time? What if I went to the wrong place? What if I should have stayed in Utah, and tried to make things work with him? What if I had given up everything for... nothing?

That was the scariest thing of all. I had given up my killer apartment. My dog. My job. My family. The possibility of having a real relationship with someone that I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with... I had given it all up, and I wasn't sure what for. A gut feeling? Really? WHO ON EARTH DOES THAT?!?!

Me. Apparently.

So, I started talking to him. Telling him that I was scared and worried that moving was a huge mistake. That I missed him like crazy and wanted to be able to sleep next to him every night.

The last thing he said to me?

"I love you. You need to stay in Florida."

Simple as that.

Let me tell you about the conversation we had on the phone days before to better explain my thought process.

He had a new best friend that I had never met. His name was Chris. They were drinking together, and I was drinking in Florida, and I called just to tell him I love him. And he told me he had found the best man for our wedding.

My heart was soaring! He wanted what I wanted. In six months, when I was done in Florida, we would be together and live happily ever after. Wedding bells had been playing in my head since the day I had met this man, and finally he realized the same thing and was actually open about it.

Chris stole the phone and told me how happy he was that Brown Boot had someone like me in his life. Someone that made him smile every time someone mentioned them. Someone that he knew he was going to spend the rest of his life with. And he even said that he hoped one day to find someone like me so he could be just as happy.

So in my mind, that phone conversation rang in my ears, a happy melody. I didn't think that this conversation was going to be the last we would have on the phone for years. I didn't think that this conversation I was having about wanting to come home was going to do much, except give me a chance to vent.

He told me to stay.

I didn't think that it was the end.

This was our time apart, our time before we were going to be together again and actually be together together. Holding hands in the rain until we're an old couple together.

He told me to stay.

I told him I loved him. And thanked him for letting me vent and talking to me about it. For knocking some sense into me.

And he said nothing.